Sunday, 3 January 2016

Twenty Sixteen.

The cliche "New year, new me" is perceived as unrealistic. This enables it to hold a negative connotation. People often roll their eyes at the sight of it on social media... "Oh god, this again" or the "You were the same person as you were the previous year!" I used to think the exact same thing. Reflecting on it, I have discovered a whole new perspective on it. People find this boost of motivation going into the new year, a chance to essentially start afresh. We take on all these promises we make to ourselves and throughout the year we realise the struggle to maintain it. It's a real test on strength and self-discipline. Failure to adhere to it doesn't necessarily signify weakness, just difficulty. There is no progress without difficulty, it is important that we remember that. We are never the same person at the end of the year, we experience another year of life that turn into memories. Whether you agree or not, I believe that we always come out stronger than we were at 12 am, 1st January that previous year.

Whilst last year proved to be the most challenging year of my life, I am still in the process of healing. I learned a lot from 2015, about myself and other people. The most important being independence. Always be independent and do not ever rely on anyone else but yourself. When you're independent, you find this strength that you didn't realise existed within you. I'm still getting there... I had to experience a few obstacles in order to continue that journey. What exactly is it that I learnt?
  • I will always credit myself for my honesty, you can rely on me to respect you through honesty. I stuck to that throughout the year and applied it in my relationship, friendships and academics. However, others will not always provide you with the same level of honesty and I have learned to be okay with that. I was faced with the most hurtful lie and secret I'd ever experienced. To a point where I was angry for weeks (part of me still is, to this day), I couldn't comprehend the situation. Every time I sat down and thought about it, it wouldn't make sense. I never understood why people chose to lie or keep something so significant from you. I refuse to accept the excuse that it was done out of protection. I view it as very selfish, more of "You didn't tell me because you didn't want to get caught out". Over time, when a secret or a lie builds up, what everyone needs to understand (if you don't already) is that it will always come out; sooner or later. The later you leave it, the more hurtful it becomes, the more likely the friendship or relationship destructs. I did lose all respect for anyone that was involved, I did expect them to be understanding towards my situation and reaction. I for one, don't appreciate being made a fool out of. It was almost as if I had blinders on and everyone else could see what I couldn't... the truth. The bigger picture on is people will not respect you the same way you respect them. Ever hear that quote? "Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got" that. So I've just learned to let go of that, to never expect anything from people. Those worth having in your life won't allow their selfishness to get the better of them. Let it go.
  • Responsibility, I learned how to live, eat and breathe like an adult. I was paying rent, handling bills and my finances. I could understand the stress of money and how it's something that keeps you up at night. I am very blessed to be able to have enough money to pay for all those things I need and even extra. This type of responsibility was huge reality shock to me, it gave me that extra push to work harder so that I wouldn't have to feel as stressed. Money really isn't everything... however if it deduces the amount of stress in your life, why wouldn't you work hard to achieve a high paid career?
  • Don't ever let anyone tell you how to feel. If you're upset or feel hurt by someones actions towards you, and someone tries to tell you that you're being paranoid or its nothing, do not listen. There are certain circumstances in which it may prove to be true, but for the most everyone has varying degrees of sensitivity. The way I look at it is, if it's upsetting you and/or hurting you, no matter how small it is, it's a problem and it matters. It doesn't make you the 'psycho bitch' they paint you out to be. What goes on in your personal life, they will not be able to understand what you're going through or what you fully feel unless they are directly involved. You're entitled to feel whatever you feel. Just because someone else is able to shrug of their problems, it doesn't mean you should react the same way as them. Choose to feel whatever you feel, choose to accept it and choose to deal with it. 
Your priority is you. That is the only resolution I have this year, I will take everything day by day, week by week, month by month. I will take whatever opportunity that contributes towards self-growth and is beneficial towards my academics. I will make it happen. If someone chooses to disrespect or insert negativity into my life, they will be gone as quickly as I can finish my Dominos pizza. I don't perceive myself to be perfect in any way, I learn something new and overcome any discomfort or fear everyday. I do it according to my own pace. It's not about how long it takes, its about eventually getting there. I am, I believe I am. 

Happy New Year everyone, I wish you all a prosperous year. 
Yours truly,
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  1. Seems like 2015 was a hard year for a lot of people, including myself. I don't think I've done a resolution in a long time. Probably because everyday presents new challenges to me that needs to be overcome. I just want to get to the point where I can finally rest.

    1. I love this "probably because everyday presents new challenges to me that needs to be overcome" such a good outlook. That's why I guess I just said to prioritise myself, it means a lot of things. Life would be boring if we rested, I think it's the challenges that keep us eager to become better. I think i'll happily rest when I've retired! Hope you have a better year John. Thanks for commenting, appreciate it!

  2. 2015 was a hard year for me too, but it does get better. I know it does. There will always be struggles, but we have to remember, always that it takes a lot of determination to get through those struggles.

    1. Yes girl! love the determination. Keep it up, we need more encouraging people like you. I hope that 2016 goes well for you, best of luck darling! Thanks for commenting, highly appreciated x

  3. These are great, loved reading your insights. Wishing you the most awesome year yet!


    1. Thank you so much, appreciate it! You too, best of luck :)


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