21 Lessons I Learned Before Turning 21

It’s that time of the year again, my birthday. As I grow older, it becomes less exciting and this year I somewhat dreaded it. It only fully dawned on me that I was getting old when my former sixth-form published pictures of their students getting their A-Level results. I thought “Oh my days, that was three years ago already!” Whilst, it should be exciting. It puts that extra layer of pressure that I need to achieve this goal within the year (Earlier in the year, I made a five-year goal). But I know it’ll fall into place eventually.

Nevertheless, this has by far been the best and most exciting. It was surrounded by some of the most important people in my life that bring me so much joy and love. So, thank you to all of you who greeted and spent time with me.

(Especially to my family, Francine, Eric, Lizzie, Bose, Jess and James and Pauline.)

I’ve learnt some incredibly valuable lessons growing up and I thought that I should share that with you!

1.     It’s okay to lose yourself more than once. There’s no shame in admitting that you feel lost or you’re confused. In fact, you’d be surprised how many people feel exactly the same. It’s normal and you need to lose yourself in order to figure out who you are and what you want to achieve out of life.

2.     You need to walk away from people who provide nothing but baggage and negativity. The people you surround yourself with have a significant impact on your life and attitude. You need to identify who supports, cares and encourages you.

3.     A boyfriend is not a necessity, but a luxury. If you’d like, an accessory. This can obviously work either way, but having a partner isn’t necessary. You should take your time in figuring out who you are and what type of person you would want to be with. And if the relationship ends, you won’t have to worry about whether you can live without them. You can. Because like I said, you don’t need a boyfriend in life to function.

4.     INDEPENDENCE IS SO IMPORTANT!

Don’t ever depend on anyone for your confidence and happiness. Learn to accept who you are and embrace it. Once you do, people can’t hurt you with their words and you become so much stronger as an individual.

5.     You cannot control everything. The idea of not knowing what will happen in the future is daunting, yet so exciting. You can only control so much of what goes on in your life. But so long as you pour your heart into everything you do, it’ll all fall into place.

6.     NEVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS. By doing so, you’re unnecessarily punishing yourself mentally and physically. Everyone has a different life with different struggles. It’s simply unfair for you to compare how you look or what you do to other people. It’s not healthy and you will never be happy with yourself.

7.     Rejection and failure is natural and even though it feels like it, it’s not the end of the world. Yes, you should allow yourself to feel sad and crappy about it. But pick yourself up and move on. It’s merely a part of life. Besides, everything happens for a reason.

8.     Stay organised and utilise your planner. Whether it’s on a notebook or a digital calendar, whatever works best for YOU!

9.     READ READ READ. Books are by far one of the most valuable sources of information and entertainment. They have the ability to take your imagination to another century and teach you how to understand Physics (still don’t get it)

10.  Matcha lattes are one of the best things in life!

11.  Your parents only want what’s best for you. All those things they currently lecture you about and all those chores they nagged you to do are so important in helping you cope (and survive) when you move out of the family home. And you will also appreciate a home cooked meal ten times more!

12.  A clean environment = a clean and calm mind

13.  “Happy people aren’t mean” The older you get, the more empathetic and understanding you become. Talking about other people and judging them doesn’t achieve anything, it’s cheap talk. And stay away from people who thrive off bitching about other people. It’s not nice.

14.  Stop people pleasing, it’s only going to make you regretful and miserable. You should live your life according to how YOU want! If you aren’t pursuing certain goals because you’re afraid of what people might think, you need to re-evaluate what’s truly important. And that’s your happiness. Just do it. You want to join a pageant? SURE, WHY NOT! Start a blog? OKAY! Vlog on YouTube? GO AHEAD!

Need I say more?

15.  Journaling is good for your mind and soul, credits to Lavendaire on YouTube. She’s an angel and helps you sort out clutter in your head and environment.

16.  Be the bigger person, forgive and let go.

17.  DO NOT USE A RAZOR TO SHAPE YOUR EYEBROWS!!!

18.  “If you’re not afraid of your dreams, they’re not big enough” Aim high, reach for the bloomin' stars. You can absolutely achieve whatever you want if you put your mind to it. Have faith in yourself.

19.  Gin and Tonic is the only drink you can handle, DO NOT drink that tequila shot.

20.  You are incredibly blessed. From your easy access to school to having a roof over your head. In some countries, girls can’t even go to school (Read MalalaYousafzai’s story here). Don’t take it for granted.

21.  You are good enough, forget all these people who underestimate you and forget that silly voice that makes you doubt yourself. Use their words to fuel your motivation. PROVE THEM WRONG.

What’s some of the most valuable lessons life has taught you? I’d love to know! Comment below!